TO AFIQ, FROM BAK

It's twelve midnight. Something woke me up. I'm lying on my bed coughing my night away. It has been like this for the past few days. Beside me are my two eldest sons. On my left is Abang Ngah (Danial) with his light green Popeye pyjamas and on my right is Aiman my eldest son with his current favourite pyjamas Superman.

Abang Ngah is sleeping in his usual unusual position, with a pillow tucked under his stomach and raising his buttock. His eyes are closed shut as is his mouth, whereas Aiman is also sleeping in a similarly unusual position (with both his legs dangling down from the bed) but his eyes are partially closed or partially opened (depends on which way you interpret it) and his mouth opens and occasionally snores.

Something is missing, something is not right. Where's my wife? where's my youngest son Afiq? I suddenly realised that both of them are not where they are supposed to be. I'm trying to fool myself, i knew that both of them were at the Hospital Baling where Afiq was admitted today. This is the second time that Afiq was admitted, with the first one is due to Physiological Jaundice when he was only 3 days old. This time, he was admitted due to bronchopneumonia or in laymens term, a lung infection.

My dear little afiq had been unwell for the past few days prior to his admission when he suddenly developed a fever last Wednesday. His fever gradually progressed into a cold and cough. After 2 days, my wife and I decided to start Afiq on a course of oral antibiotics. His fever seems to be settling but his phlegm is getting worse along with his blocked nose.

Then, the turn of event got worse when suddenly my dear little Afiq refused to feed. His last proper bottle was on Saturday night. I tried to feed him, my wife also tried but to no avail. He just lost interest in feeding. We thought it might be due to the phlegm so we brought him to Baling Hospital Casualty department for a suction to be done to Afiq as a supportive treatment to clear his phlegm. A decision I later regret. We only managed to suck out a small quantity of phlegm as his phlegm is so thick. Afiq later vomited a few more phlegm along with partially digested milk and a lot mucus. It is so easy (as a doctor) when you had to do to someone else's child but when it comes to your own, it is not.

Being a sweet little Afiq, he seems normal. Kept on smiling when he was smiled to, kept on laughing when played to. As if he was trying to tell us not to worry about him. but the long period of semi fasting is getting into him. By Sunday afternoon he looked tired.

When we got back that afternoon, he was looking lethargic. I felt his anterior fontanelle had sunken (an area just above the forehead which is situated in the middle) and his pulse rate is also increasing. Both were the signs of dehydration. I suggested to my wife that we should bring Afiq to see a paediatrician later that evening in Alor Star. My wife insisted that I call my ex-boss. Dr Teh, wether she is available today. I immediately called her and consulted her. She advised me to do a chest xray and then to send the image to her by MMS. We wasted no time as we rushed to Baling Hospital Casualty department to get an xray done. After the xray was done, we were waiting for the film to be ready. when we saw the film, my worse fears were confirmed. I knew that Afiq had pneumonia but I had to be sure. So I sent the images of the film to Dr Teh. She tells me that it is pneumonia and it is best if Afiq is to be admitted for further treatment. Later in the evening, Afiq was admitted again in the space of 5 months. Afiq needs to start on an intravenous antibiotics and intravenous drip (for his dehydration).

This is not a dream, this is real as I thought to myself again that night. I pray to god for Afiq and was thankful that it is not worse than this.

TO AFIQ, BAK PRAY FOR YOU TO GET WELL SOON, AND BAK MISSES YOU TONIGHT AND OF COURSE BAK LOVES YOU VERY MUCH.